Education Short List

Remember when we were in junior high or high school? When you would call the girl or boy you liked, dial their number and then hang up real quick once they answered? Ahh, the good ol’ days. Or remember watching the Simpsons and listening to Bart crank call Moe’s Tavern? Funny stuff that Bart.

Ring Ring...crazy person on the line

Since starting my own business, a tutoring company, I have had some annoying, albeit interesting, crank calls. Five of those that were especially crazy stick out in my memories.

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– A girl called saying she was a homeless Romanian gypsy; wanted to learn how to read and write. She was homeless but wanted to pay by check. When I asked where Romania was, she said North Africa. When I asked her how she found out about our company, she said she looked it up on the internet. How exactly does a homeless person who can’t read or write or spell know how to search on the internet?

– A man called, after business hours, and left a message. In a very weird voice said, “Umm, I want, I want some of your tutoring…yea, yea, I want to get tutored. Hahahahah ‘F&^k You.’ My number is 555-555-5555″ The idiot left his phone number to that horrid message.

— A girl called to say that she doesn’t know how to read or write, but has to get her GED. She ran out of her trust fund and now needed an education. When I asked what was the last grade she completed, she said 10th grade. I asked if she knew how to read/write to that level – she said yes, but not after that. And that her trust fund ran out so now she needed to learn.

— A man called wanting tutoring for his special needs son. Wanted his son to learn ‘basic life skills.’ I actually believed this one, so I showed up to the appointment. No father, no son. When I called the phone number given to me – it was disconnected.

—A mother ‘desperate’ for tutoring for her son made me schedule a weekend appointment. I showed up, so did she — without the son. Instead of the consultation she wanted all of our forms and paperwork so she could take it home (all of our documents are copyrighted). She said to bill her for the time. Never could do that without an address or a consultation. Never heard from again.

There are other ones, but those are definitely the five weirdest.

Even though it takes time away from my day to handle crank phone calls, I learn a very valuable lesson from them.

When I first started my business, I would show up to all of the booked appointments, even when the customer didn’t. It was a loss of my time and my money. Each one of those ‘no show’ consultations led to a major change in our company’s policy. Now, for each consult we require a depost. Since the inception of the deposit requirement, I have only had one person never show up.

By looking at the whole picture, it’s easy to be irritated. But for me, I think it’s funny. Come on, how many homeless Romanian gypsies do you know that have a checking account? Plus, now, I’ve learned from those experiences, made my company stronger, and I am more protected from the gypsies.